My Fear

Holidays are not my thing. Any of them even Birthdays. What do I like? Thats a good question. I have worked since I was 15 years old. If you want to count all the Babysitting I did well it would be 12.

Sometimes it would be 20 years before I even got a day off. Now in my twilight years I have found Long Distance Backpacking. 

Long Distance Backpacking you say. On one of my most cherished Facebook Page is a group of women all having the same dream. ( I cant say its a dream for me. ) We call ourselves The Sumit Sisters. A few have met. Some have dropped out some have moved to another trail. Some will hike, some wont, some will make it some wont. But on a recent post about the fear of not even trying came to hit me in a way that made me think about my life.

Since I have retired. I have a fear of not having anything to do. Oh yea I have cleaned out my cabinets, etc. But the hiking. Its not even hiking its Backpacking. Everything I will need on my back for months on end. When I come back from a backpacking trip I always think I don't need this or that.

People who have never done Backpacking don't understand and most don't even care. They don't even know how to talk to me. Thats ok  not to much of a people person. 

The wilderness. I crave it I want to be out in it ,to live there. It can be harsh at times and is not to forgiving. But the freedom you get is the most rewarding life you will ever have. Its not the views from the tops. Unless you are in the west. Its not the life long friends you make along the way. But they are nice to have. Its not the fact that you can live on the trail eating and drinking the same thing everyday.

For me. its the inner peace I get from being out in the Wilderness. My fear is not being able to ever do that again.